So.
As you know, I am a PSP.
Plus Size Princess.
And I am going to be honest.
That's tough considering (some) people read this...but I need to get it off my mind. ::sigh::
At one point in my life, I was what people called Trini-whore. Not that I was a whore. I just a had a good time...with a few people. Okay Okay. Quite a few people. Damn.
And I chose to try to lead the life of a better Christian. So I know I am forgiven. Ok.
So, I haven't been with someone in about...oh, say... Two years.
In my crazy years, I happened to pick up a guy who was what you would call a booty call, yet very seldom did we do anything. Only a handful of times. Honestly.
Getting back to my main thought.
When I drink, I tend to get a little...hmm...forward with my advances.
And a couple of weeks back I made a request...ok maybe more like a command, that he come over on November 1st and help me finish out my roll. (no judgement)
Now, I had remembered this the morning after in the midst of my hazy head, hoping to God that he didn't remember. Basically because I made myself a jackass in the way I asked. >.<
So, we weren't able to score any for this particular event (both positive and negative) so I remained sober. And enjoyed the rave immensely. And (almost) forgot about the arrangement.
Speed this up Trinity...
Went on facebook this morning...and what did I read underneath my status.
Guy- Wasn't something supposed to happen on Sunday night?
Me - (thinking oh shit... he actually remembered!! What am I supposed to say?!)
So, back to the basics...
This can mean good or bad to me...
Since he actually remembered, does that mean that he just really wants to get some? Does it mean that he likes me? (Because who makes plans to get laid that far in advance, really?)
I just seem to over analyze.
So, now I am inbetween a rock and a hard place.
I want to have sex. There I said it. It takes most my gumption not to do something about it.
And he wants to as well... you'd think right?
So here's my dilemma.
I'm a PSP, man.
I'm a little worried about the sex part.
What my body looks like to him, and such.
I don't know if I could do it.
Afraid of judgement on his part.
And do I do it? I mean, its been TWO years. Two single years.
I'm stuck. I know I shouldn't, but it still looks and sounds fun as hell.

To do the right thing, Or have some fun?